Book Reviews #3 and #4

Yet another newsletter book review! Again, no free books given to me, although they came from the library, so they were technically free. After I paid my fines. Did you know you can now borrow some newer books in e-format (pdf, Kindle, etc)? 


Check these books out:
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Keith from our April training recommended 2 books by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, "Women Don't Ask" and its sequel, "Ask for It".  This book compiles the research done by the authors on the differences in negotiation between the sexes. Right now, the gender wage gap now stands at 77¢ for women for every $1 that men earn, and these authors research shows that this gap could be eliminated if women negotiated to the same extent as men.

In their first book, Babcock and Laschever discuss cultural, societal, and gender stereotypes and expectations regarding females who negotiate.  According to their research,  women just don’t ask as often, don’t ask as much, and settle sooner than men do.  In addition,  they frequently look to others to tell them what they deserve and when they deserve it. There are a variety of reasons for these results, including females’ socialization and upbringing, stereotypes about both nice women and  bossy women, and a lack of knowledge and skill about negotiating.  However, they have seen that when women are taught these negotiating strategies, they are able to negotiate successfully as frequently and for as much as men.  Women also have a distinct advantages in that they  favor a more collaborative strategy, which produces better outcomes for all, and they make less risky moves or ultimatums in discussions which allows them to successfully negotiate more often.  

In their second book, they detail ways that women can improve their negotiating habits and strategies. They cover why you should ask, what you can ask for (hint: everything!), how to figure out what  or how much you should  be asking for, ways to bargain using what the other side needs, and when and where to ask.

I really enjoyed reading these 2 books. They went very in-depth in this area  to truly explore why women don’t ask, and how to help them. I especially loved that both books were chock-full of story after story of women. These stories provided real-life examples of how negotiations are lost and how they are won, and  both what you can lose when you don’t ask and the great things you can gain through negotiation.   Personally, I identified that I don’t ask for many of their reasons of why women don’t negotiate.  I was also very empowered to begin negotiating and in the last few weeks I have (successfully!) asked for several things I would never have thought to do or have the courage to do before reading these books.  Everyone  - not only, but especially women- should read this book  to understand how what you don’t know is holding you back and how you can  improve your negotiation strategies . It will open you up to a world of opportunities  that are available if you just ask!


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Update: I have begun to take this book to heart. I asked for a free oil change for my inconvenience in coming back to the auto shop - and got it! So empowering. I also wasn't afraid to broach a tricky subject in several conversations now, and have been able to ask for more responsibility in my clinic. I am still a little nervous to deal with financial aid, but I am working up to it. I can't wait to try out many of their suggestions and ask for more things!


How do you feel about negotiating? What are your typical outcomes? And what would you ask for right now if you thought you could get it?

Book Review #2: More on Introverts

I originally wrote this for my Corps Newsletter, and waned to share it. Unfortunately, I did not receive a free copy of the book, so no bribery is involved (although that would be cool - how can I become one of those reviewers?!).

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“Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain

I give this book a 5-star rating! Would you describe yourself as a listener and a thinker? Then this book is for you! As an introvert, this book is revolutionary in our very extroverted society.

Cain digs into the latest research in psychology, sociology, and neuroscience to answer questions about being an introvert – is nature or nurture?  Can people change?  Is it caused by fear? How does one achieve balance?  She explores the challenges for and encourages the benefits of being an introvert across all ways of life: at school, work, and church; and in relationships with a partner, boss, child, and most importantly, with yourself.  Her book is filled with clear non-technical language and intriguing stories throughout the book, making it very accessible to everyone and both easy and enjoyable to read.  Sprinkled in are tidbits of hints and tips for introverts and those who know and love one.

Cain’s debut text provides a welcome voice that whispers softly to an introvert’s soul – “There is nothing wrong with you, and there are others out there like you. Look at these successful people who have gone before you. It is more than ok to be an introvert – it’s great!”

For more information, check out the Introverts’ Manifesto and the other articles on her website:  http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/sixteen-things-i-believe/

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Also, since I initially wrote this post I have discovered more interesting links: 

1. A long (read: 4 pages) Psychology Today article - basics of an introvert

2. Lifehacker tips on how to avoid becoming an introverted weirdo - especially key if you live and/or work alone. 


3. Another article on introverts in church

4. An advice column's look at 'faking it' versus 'being yourself'

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PS: writing for the newsletter has really made me sit down and write more, and I really want to be more disciplined because I love reading and words and blogs etc. Any tips for writing regularly when you don't (necessarily) feel like writing? Topics aren't the problem, I've created a ton of new posts but never really finished them (ok, or even really started some of them other than the title). I've set up a few posts to go up automatically over this week while I try to write some more. Yay, blogging!