Procrastination? Distraction?

I'm trying to write a paper about how biomedicine (aka US medicine) and personalistic medicine (aka shaman healings) can benefit from each other. And I'm having the hardest time writing it. Because I would much rather be writing this, so I'm just going to write this and then turn back to the work. Maybe then I could focus on what the prompt asks me to write about, and not all these things that I want to include but that are not at all part of the paper.

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I want to write about how I see the world as spiritual. Not in the sense that everything is a god, but that God created everything. That mind, soul, heart, and strength are not separate from each other. I want to say that I believe in this type of medicine that may be classified as personalistic but what does that really matter anyway?

What I really want to talk about is how for me, faith and medicine are so deeply connected that I wonder if I should just go into 'ministry' and then I think, medicine is my ministry. People are searching for healing, and where better to find it than at your doctor's office? I just want to write that medicine is ministry and ministry is medicine and why is there a boundary? This true, deep healing is desperately lacking in our medical system which believes that everything must be based on what we can see. Do we really have any faith at all? Because everything that is seen was formed by a God who cannot be seen by this naked eye. But the Son expresses the very nature of God (Heb 1:3) - and when we look at Christ we see the Father (John 14:9). He is seen! I digress. But science and our culture has this idea that this physical world is all there is and with all my heart I have to disagree.

Because who says the supernatural, all-powerful God doesn't have complete control over this earth and everything in it? That disease and microbes are part of God's creation and yet at the same time can be used by the enemy to tempt us to doubt God's goodness. I am crying out to say that relationships are what matters more than the physical. To say that all of creation waits and groans because the relationship of all of humanity to God was irrevocably broken that day in the garden. That because of this we are broken people who hurt each other, who believe the lies about who we are, causing us to act out of self-love and not other-love. We are completely unworthy of approaching this perfect God and we know it. We know that this hurt and pain are not how it should be. Our souls are longing for something that can only be satisfied by this endless, infinite God and not with all these measurable, physical things that we can see.

I long to say that God is beauty, perfection, harmony, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, peace, love, joy, patience, gentleness, unity, trinity ... must I go on? These characteristics that we all seek and all deem as good (because we do have knowledge of good and evil) are found in this God. Who sends his Spirit to be in all of us! And by his Spirit we can love one another. And if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us (1 John 4:12), and Christ this unseen God is seen!

I want to say that you were created for more than this world. That the supernatural does exist and it is real and there is a war being waged for your soul. That even once you fight on God's side the war isn't yet over, and yet Christ has already triumphed over evil! That your God is fighting for you and sent the best weapon to take out the enemy by triumphing over death. I want to say that pills are not the answer and even if you have no physical pain, you cannot tell me you have no emotional pain. That on your best day there is still the question of is there more than this? What happens when all that you can tangibly want is yours? That living even one more second on earth will not take away your fear of death unless you trust that Christ has paid the price and you can have eternal life if you trust in him.

I want to say that the world does not need more medicine, what they need is more knowledge of Christ. And I plan to bring it by way of medicine. How do you classify that?